Woof! Woof! Who let the bears out!
This is Papa Bear cumming back at you to help you figure out the bear necessities of life.
Today, I'm going to help you figure out Bear Language - so you can understand the profiles of your new furry friends and learn the lingo of lusty bear love!
Like any other social group, bears have developed their own form of slang over the years. It's a mixture of gay underground slang with their own beastly twist!
For new cubs or bears who have just come out of the forest, it can be cock-blockingly confusing to try to figure out what bears are saying.
After all, the point of this site is to get all of our bears laid in the shade, but if they can't talk to each other, how the hell are they supposed to satisfy their cockaholic cravings and have scandleific sexperiences?
Papa Bear to the rescue! I not only walk the walk, I also talk the talk - and I'm hear to provide your penis with a phrase book that will have you speaking bear, quicker than it takes to shit in the woods!
Breaking The Bear Code
Before we get to the hard core slang, the first thing you need to understand is how to read and write Bear Code.
Bear Code is a way that bears can quickly explain what type of bear they are and/or what type of man they are looking for. It's a little tricky to read at first, but once you get the hang of it, you'll be able to figure out in a matter of seconds if you want to let this bear rampage your rump!
A typical bear code would look something like this:
B3 c++ f s+: w t- k+++
If you are a newbie bear or a curious cub, your first reaction is going to be, "I can't bear it! What the fuck does that mean, Papa Bear?"
Have no worries - figuring out Bear Code is easier than wiping a lusty man load off your bushy beard.
What bears do is break down what they look like and what they want to do when they screw into a quick series of numbers and symbols.
We'll explain the codes now - and don't worry if you are still a little confused, I'll explain what the slang words mean in just a couple of minutes!
B. A bear code always starts off with the letter "B" followed by a number ranging from 0 to 9. The "B" refers the the length of your beard. A B0 just had to shave that day for his sister's wedding. A B9 could play in a ZZ Top cover band. Most bears are somewhere between B3 and B6.
The rest of the codes are always followed by plus or minus signs. The more that particular trait suits you, the more plus signs you put in. The less it suits you, the more minus signs you put in.
F - This refers to how "Furry" you are. If you are completely covered with hair, you'll be a f++. If you are just out of high school or used to be a twink you'll be a f--. If you are average, just list yourself as an f.
T - The letter "T" indicates how tall you are. If you could play for the New York Knicks, you are more than likely a T++. If you are a dwarf you'll be a T--.
W - This is how much you weigh. If you look like Santa with a belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly, you are a W++. On the other hand, if you've just gotten over a battle with anorexia, rate yourself a W--.
C - A C tells people how much of a Cub you are. If you are seriously young and want a much older Daddy Bear, give yourself a C++. If you are looking for an equal age relationship, rate yourself a C--.
D - The letter D lets cubs know how much of a daddy you are. If you are a Marine Corp Drill Sargent you are probably a D++. If you've never given an order in your life, rate yourself a D--.
K - This is one of the most important codes for bears who want a complete sexperience. The letter K tells people how kinky you are. Guys who want to have bareback sex and then piss on their partner's nose are probably a K++. If you like to talk long walks in the woods and hold hands, give yourself a K--.
S - The letter S lets dudes know how slutty you are. If you are hitting bear runs every weekend, give yourself a S++. Those bears, and legend says there are a couple out there, who are looking for a long term monogamous relationship, should give themselves a s--.
M - The least used of the bear codes, but still important, M tells guys how muscular you are. Bears who hit the gym every day, should give themselves a M++. If you only exercise you get is drinking 10 beers a night you are more likely than not a M-- bear.
See, that wasn't so hard, was it my fellow hairy bears!
Bear Talk - It's Not Just For Yogi And Boo Boo Anymore!.
"Ok, Papa Bear," you might say, "I understand the codes. But what's a cub and what's a daddy bear?"
Have no worries - now that you've broken the code, I'm going to teach you the lingo to break into the bear directory and communicate with your fellow friends of the forest.
Some of these terms you may already know from being part of the gay community - while some of them are more specific to bears.
So, just bear with me and I'll have you woofing at the hairy hunks in no time flat!
Admirer - An admirer is a dude who is not a bear, but who wants a bear to fuck the living shit out of him! He may be smooth, but he'll have the moves that will keep you cumming back for more!
Clear - A bear who only fucks other dudes and simply hangs out with women when he wants to shop til he drops.
Cub - A younger bear, who is usually the bottom in the bear-on-bear relationship. Cubs often like to take orders and is often looking for a Yogi for his Boo Boo.
Daddy Bear - These bears are generally older and like to be in charge. More often than not, they will be the top in the relationship and do their best to make you take it like a man!
Goldilocks - This is a bear's best female friend. In other parts of the gay community, she might be called a fag hag. But, we think calling her a Goldilocks is "just right!"
Muscle Bear - Not all bears have big bellies. Some of them hit the gym every day and have the bodies of California governors. These dudes are called muscle bears, because underneath their fur they are all man!
Koala - Many bears are dark haired. I'm not sure why, but that's more common than not. On the other hand, the rare blond bear on the meat market is called a Koala. Just be careful - they are cute, but sometimes they bite!
Panda - Are you an Asian bear or a hairy rice queen? Then, you can proudly call yourself a Panda Bear! The good news is that unlike real Pandas, Panda Bears often have no problem "mating" in captivity!
Polar Bear - Once rare, now that the bear community has been around for 30 years, Polar Bears be-cumming more and more common. A Polar Bear is a bear whose hair has gone gray.
Bear Run - Do you want to slut your hairy ass at all of the clubs, dark rooms and sex clubs you can find? Then look for a Bear Run - which is what bears call circuit parties and sex parties for our bearded boys!
Bear Soup - At any good Bear Run, you are likely to run into some Bear Soup. This is when a bunch of bears get into a hot tub, for some cockalicious man-on-man action - more often than not this happens during a Bear Run, but you could always cook some up from scratch in your own hot tub!
Otter - Otters are hairy men who for whatever reason can't seem to put on the weight. Otters are also almost always the bottom of a bear relationship and love to have fun and be full of cum!
Wolf - Do you look like an otter, but prefer to top rather than bottom? Welcome to the world of wolves - thin hairy men who are aggressive and know how to put Cubs in their rightful place - bent over the living room couch!
Woof! - This is the typical way one bear says hello to another bear. If you go up to a hairy dude and say "Woof" and he doesn't know what you are talking about, back off. He's probably straight, and you know that straight boys are completely unpredictable.
Bareback - Bareback and barebacking are terms used to describe men who prefer to have sex without condoms. You know what they say - "No glove - more love!"
Brokeback - A Brokeback is a gay bear who lives in a a rural area and likes to ride horses. Many brokebacks are closeted and some are even married.
Total Top - Total tops are always the dominant partner in a fuckfest. They don't give head or take it up the ass. If you find a total top, be ready to become his voracious bottom.
Versatile Bottom - Perhaps the most common type of bear. A versatile bottom is more than capable of topping but always wants to give head and get fucked like the animal he is deep down inside.
Now Get Ready To Rumble And Tumble Into The Arms Of Your Favorite Bear!.
So, are you an otter or a wolf? I know that I love my Panda Bears, but had fun with a nice Polar Bear last weekend!
Just remember to spend some time with your Goldilocks - if for no other reason than to remind you of why only play gay!
Now you know the lingo - so isn't it time to go out there, check out the personal ads and find your own hairy bear?